...in less than 36 hours we will be getting on a plane to go to the middle of the northern Atlantic! In less than 60 hours, we will be living in the Azores! Why is it when somebody changes your perspective from days to hours it seems so much closer? 60 is larger than 3, so why does 60 hours seem so much sooner than 3 days? It's crazy!
Well we have officially said see ya laters to our nearest and dearest with the exception of Matt's parents and aunt who will be taking us to the airport. I have seriously not cried this much in...well, ever. It has always been easy (relatively) to let people float in and out of my life. As a mililtary brat who never lived any place longer than 3 and a half years, you develop coping strategies for the inevitable goodbye and your friendships are typically as long as your time in that place. I have always been good at making friends, but never kept many beyond my move to the next location. It was that way when we left England in 1989, leaving high school in 1993, leaving college roommates (with the exceptions of course with my beloved boys of the TBC Aaron, Kermit, Mike and Eric)...it is just how I learned to adapt to arriving somewhere and knowing that I was going to leave 1 or 2 or 3 years later. Of course that was all before the internet and the glorious reconnecter that is Facebook (which as connected me with many lost friendships from England on...so cool!). But with all those years of leaving people and friendships behind...this time when Matt and I settled in Coppell we developed roots...something that I have never done before. Growing up, home was always where my immediate family was...mainly my mom, so roots never took form until Coppell. Everything we did in Coppell, every friendship made, purchase made, all was done with the idea that we were going to raise our family there...for as long as we could imagine. We have a church family there, a neighborhood family, a mommy support group family, a preschool family, our college buddies, Matt's family...everything we know is centered around our little bubble in the Dallas metroplex. I suspect that is why I cried so much this time. Even though it is a see you in a couple of years more than a goodbye it is hard to imagine my life without all those friends, neighbors, parks, doctors, and surroundings. So, it is with tears in my eyes that I am so glad to say that my roots will stay in Coppell, and that we plan without a doubt to come back from our adventure to raise our family in a small city that we have come to know and love. That's why we rented our house instead of selling it. Coppell is the center of our universe filled with hands down some of the best people that I have ever met in my life! So even though this bird has always had wings to fly and meet new people and experience old things, I plan to return to my nest when the time is right! See you all in a couple of years!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
The Flip-Flopping of My Emotions
As I sit here typing, I realize that there are only 16 more days until we leave for Terceira, Azores...16 more days!!! In some ways that seems like forever and in others it is no time at all. There is still so much to do and so many "see you laters" to say. We are staying with my in-laws who have been nothing but gracious hosts since our arrival last Wednesday (Tuesday for Matt and the kids). The kids are adjusting, but needless to say with their whole world turned upside down, behaviors and boundries are being tested. They are doing their best to work it all out. On the positive side, they have really started playing and cooperating with each other a lot more! It is so cute to see. Last night and again this morning, they turned a climbing structure into an airplane, packed their bags and piloted to California...not sure why California as we have not been there...I speculate it has something to do with Anderson's BFF going earlier this year. Either way CA or Azores, there piloting the plane is super sweet! Maryn of course is the co-pilot/flight attendant.
Last Monday, I said my first "see ya laters." As I have begun the process to say goodbye, I am humbled by how many people I am blessed to know in the Dallas area and how they have touched my life and made me a better person. Monday I said good-bye to several patients and their families. Tuesday was followed by the same. Thursday was even harder as I said adios to the Stringfellow Board members, director and my chidren's teachers...I bawled for an hour before I even got there, just thinking of all the things that this group of women have meant to my family and done for my children. Their love, support and Christian guidance is endless and I adore each of them! That same evening I said goodbye to my beloved OT Aubrie. The Dynamic Duo of feeding therapy is the Dynamic Uno she reminded me. Sobs were heard all over Coppell as we engaged in the ugly cry that only women can do when part of them is leaving. She is one of the most amazing professionals and people I have ever met and it is hard to break up the team.
As I look at my left wrist it is adorned with a beautiful silver bracelet one of my patient's mothers made for me, also given to me last Thursday. The words on it are Faith, Hope, and Love. These three things get us through the most tumultuous of times and help us know that all will be okay in the future. The family that made it for me is very special. They have taught me what it looks like to live with faith, hope and true love. They are the true definition of a family, bonded by blood, but rooted in religion and love. So special and I will miss each one of them! Especially my Noe-Noe!
Friday ushered in a totally different goodbye, as I met Rockstar Mommies at the Blue Goose in Highland Village for dinner and drinks. This group of women has been my sanity during my years of motherhood. Words cannot even begin to describe my appreciation and love for them! They have been friends, teachers, counselors, sisters and mentors for me. Without them I would not be the parent I am today. We come from all different backgrounds, political views, personalities, and for some reason it just clicked. Although I held off crying until the end when we were saying our goodbyes...yes, again it was the ugly cry that sort of sounds like dolphins...I was comforted by the fact that I will see them again. They are too important to let go of. I am encouraged by a saying on the beautiful bracelet that they gave me jingling on my right wrist that says "It's kind of fun to do the impossible." Boy is that true! The anxiety of trying something new can almost be crippling, but if you change the way you look at it and put one foot in front of the other...soon you will be dancing toward the door! I will look to these words often for inspiration and courage as they are from the best group of women I know!
This is only the beginning of my so longs. There are more to come and more flip flopping of my emotions from I can't believe we are doing this...scared! To I can't believe we are doing this...excited! There is still so much to do and so much to say, but I find that I have cried enough for the moment and need to move on to organizing. So I leave you with this quote which makes me feel blessed to have some many special people to miss and say goodbye too!
Distance never seperates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad cuz I miss you I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.”
Last Monday, I said my first "see ya laters." As I have begun the process to say goodbye, I am humbled by how many people I am blessed to know in the Dallas area and how they have touched my life and made me a better person. Monday I said good-bye to several patients and their families. Tuesday was followed by the same. Thursday was even harder as I said adios to the Stringfellow Board members, director and my chidren's teachers...I bawled for an hour before I even got there, just thinking of all the things that this group of women have meant to my family and done for my children. Their love, support and Christian guidance is endless and I adore each of them! That same evening I said goodbye to my beloved OT Aubrie. The Dynamic Duo of feeding therapy is the Dynamic Uno she reminded me. Sobs were heard all over Coppell as we engaged in the ugly cry that only women can do when part of them is leaving. She is one of the most amazing professionals and people I have ever met and it is hard to break up the team.
As I look at my left wrist it is adorned with a beautiful silver bracelet one of my patient's mothers made for me, also given to me last Thursday. The words on it are Faith, Hope, and Love. These three things get us through the most tumultuous of times and help us know that all will be okay in the future. The family that made it for me is very special. They have taught me what it looks like to live with faith, hope and true love. They are the true definition of a family, bonded by blood, but rooted in religion and love. So special and I will miss each one of them! Especially my Noe-Noe!
Friday ushered in a totally different goodbye, as I met Rockstar Mommies at the Blue Goose in Highland Village for dinner and drinks. This group of women has been my sanity during my years of motherhood. Words cannot even begin to describe my appreciation and love for them! They have been friends, teachers, counselors, sisters and mentors for me. Without them I would not be the parent I am today. We come from all different backgrounds, political views, personalities, and for some reason it just clicked. Although I held off crying until the end when we were saying our goodbyes...yes, again it was the ugly cry that sort of sounds like dolphins...I was comforted by the fact that I will see them again. They are too important to let go of. I am encouraged by a saying on the beautiful bracelet that they gave me jingling on my right wrist that says "It's kind of fun to do the impossible." Boy is that true! The anxiety of trying something new can almost be crippling, but if you change the way you look at it and put one foot in front of the other...soon you will be dancing toward the door! I will look to these words often for inspiration and courage as they are from the best group of women I know!
This is only the beginning of my so longs. There are more to come and more flip flopping of my emotions from I can't believe we are doing this...scared! To I can't believe we are doing this...excited! There is still so much to do and so much to say, but I find that I have cried enough for the moment and need to move on to organizing. So I leave you with this quote which makes me feel blessed to have some many special people to miss and say goodbye too!
Distance never seperates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad cuz I miss you I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.”
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